My 46 Idols Failed Me
When I was finishing High School in India, I was away from home, renting a room which I filled with my 46 idols. I spent an hour and a half three times a day faithfully and earnestly seeking the help of my gods. When I wrote my exams, I failed. F F F F ! I was crushed, not only at failing, but also at the failure of my gods I had been taught to rely on. I gave up on my gods. I no longer believed in them. They were useless. I no longer knew what to believe.
In total depression, I thought suicide was a good option. My parents pleaded with me to not take my life. If I needed to take a break from school, then do that, but don’t kill yourself. At my lowest point, an older Christian neighbor started to take time talking with me. He seemed to truly care. He had a strange but attractive confidence that he knew the true God in a personal way, and that this God loved him and me without begging and pleading for hours a day, chanting mantras, giving food offerings, and calling on the spirits to come into my 46 idols. For several months he was a friend in my darkest hours.
However, I had a strong resistance to what he said about Jesus. To me Jesus was the white man’s god, and I was Indian. Christianity was just a different religion with religious rules and practices, and I was tired of useless religious practices.
My neighbor kept on loving me in ways even my parents did not do. What he said about Jesus started to make sense. Although many white people believed in Jesus, I came to see that Jesus was Jewish, and far closer to me as an Indian than I had realized. I learned that many in India trusted Jesus as the only Saviour sent from the only God.
I started to attend Bible studies. My heart started to change. All I learned was good news. All I learned was a clear explanation to why all my false gods had not helped me. All I learned about Jesus gave me hope instead of despair. Through the death of Jesus for my sins, I could be united with the living God in a genuine love relationship. I could be released from the crushing sense of failure at school. With great patience and compassion, the LORD opened my heart to receive Him.
As soon as I received Christ, my neighbor said, “You do not need to finish your exams. The best for you is to go to Bible School and learn about the LORD who is far more important and valuable. If you are willing to go tomorrow, I will pay your way!”
After all these months of procrastination and indecisiveness, the new life of the LORD in me helped me become decisive. “I will go!”
What a wonderful time at Bible School! What a change from my small apartment with 46 idols and 4 ½ hours a day calling out to gods who could not hear or answer. My life became grounded in the truth of the Word of God and the overflowing grace of Christ. I saw the LORD at work in saving others as we reached out through school training programs. I developed confidence in Christ’s power to save if I would teach the message of the cross. It was not about my skills of persuasion, or my being more devoted to the gods. It was about the power of the blood of Christ to forgive and reconcile a sinful soul to God. It was about the power of the risen and reigning Messiah who was Lord of all.
When I graduated, it was expected that I would start a church. The school did not provide help from other churches. The first Sunday, there were seven of us, including me and my dear wife I had met in Bible School. We were young and weak, but those around us were in great need. A sincere devotee to the gods was still very sick after much earnest appealing and sacrificing at the shrines; they came to us for prayer. In great grace toward us and the ill one, the LORD healed them as we prayed to the only God in the name of his crucified and risen Son. They testified to many of the power of Jesus to heal. Others came for healing. A devotee who was demonized through his occult worship practices was brought to us. In great grace toward us and the demonized, the LORD set him free as we prayed to the only God in the name of his crucified and risen Son. He testified to many of the power of Jesus to set free from the dominion of darkness and transfer into the kingdom of the Son. Others came for release.
Like me, the new believers knew nothing about the Bible. But I had learned what my heart needed to understand from the Word of God. We got busy with discipling the converts to walk by faith in the promises and grace of the Son of God. Their new lives in Christ were living testimonies to their families that there was one God who saved and transformed hearts in despair into hearts of joy in the Lord. Many more came for prayer. Many more experienced the compassion and power of Christ. As it is written, “Jesus went throughout all the cities and villages, teaching in their synagogues and proclaiming the gospel of the kingdom and healing every disease and every affliction. When he saw the crowds, he had compassion for them, because they were harassed and helpless (against the wolves), like sheep without a shepherd” (Matthew 9:35-36).
Pastor John seemed surprised when I said that each Sunday we have two or three devotees who come in need of healing or freedom from demons, and it is normal with our prayer teams to see the Lord of grace heal and free by the power of the Son of God, our Lord Jesus. We do not take this for granted. We all must be clean vessels who continue to give all the glory to Christ. We must continue to be bankrupt nothings apart from Christ, who cry out together in total dependence on the Lord to have compassion and mercy on the undeserving, those of us who pray, and the one in need. This is all I have known in church ministry all these years.
I was somewhat surprised to learn that this is not normal in church ministry in western countries. The needs in our religious community are great, and the LORD is making his name great. We need prayer. We believe in the Lord who answers prayer. We need salvation that we can’t accomplish ourselves with all our efforts and pleas and offerings to idols. We believe in the Lord who saves.
Through new anti-conversion laws, our country is increasing the pressure on churches and Pastors. However, our new converts who receive healing and release do not complain of being converted! Their relatives could complain, but thus far we have not been charged.
Lord, keep us faithful to your Word and your glory in Christ.
Pastor Raj